Thursday, January 28, 2010

A letter to my angels

My sweet babies,

I am so sorry that I wasn't able to bring you in to this amazing world. I can only try to believe that God has a special purpose for you in Heaven and I can't wait to find out what that is when I meet the two of you some day.

Your father and I love you very much. We didn't have the chance to meet you but you were very, very real to us. One of you was with us on our honeymoon. I still have the Ogunquit onesie we bought for you. We were scared and had no idea what we were going to do. We had only been married a month when I found out you were with us but we were also very excited. I remember by the time we were driving home from Maine, all we could talk about was the amazing things we were going to do with you when we got to meet you.

The other, came in to our lives last summer and shared your dad's 26th birthday with us. We felt like we were finally "ready" to go on this adventure again. I tried to do everything right. I didn't touch caffeine, took my vitamins and tried not to over exert myself. Sadly, you were with us for a shorter time than the angel before you. We were suppose to meet you tomorrow. I suppose it's kind of ironic that we're facing white-out conditions and minus 20 wind chills. Your dad and I were joking at dinner tonight that I'd have to have you at home because who knows if we could make back down the mountain tonight!

To some people, you were just a line on a stick. A faint one at that. But I knew. I knew I was going to be your mommy whether I got to meet you in the outside world or not. I loved the feeling of not being able to suck in my belly because you were there. I love that while I was walking through the streets of Newport, RI, I would get a little winded and need to sit down for a minute. I adored the way that even though I had made my favorite meal of cornish hens with all the trimmings, all I ate that night was a can of peas, because that's the only thing I really wanted.

I will never stop thinking about you. I only hope and pray that you are OK where ever you are. Please ask Jesus to bless us while we try to get pregnant again and have a live baby. Know that if we ever have a full-term baby, they will never take the place of you, simply be an addition to you. We love you more than anything in the world. Please be in peace.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Day of mixed emotion

I work for Children's Miracle Network through a local children's hospital in Central PA. Today I had the privilege to have lunch with one of our Miracle Kids. He's six years old and has been diagnosed with Progeria. Progeria is a condition that is often referred to as "early aging disease". This little boy has more life and personality than most people I know. He is very animated and loves to play and be the center of attention. He completely consumed my heart this afternoon.

After parting ways I was then informed by a co-worker who works more closely with the family that he's not doing very well. He's been starting to have strokes (a common symptom late in the disease) and the doctors at our hospital are afraid there may not be very much more they can do for him.

On the way home from my meetings today ( a two-hour drive) I cried. I have never felt so much emotion toward a person I have just met in my entire life. This little boy steals your heart away. This is one of the hardest parts of my job but if a fundraiser I held has helped to buy even one piece of equipment that he used while being in the hospital, it's made it all worth it.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Post holiday cleaning

The tree is down, the mistletoe put away and the cookies are just about gone. If you're like me, right about now you're thinking that the house, apartment in my case, is looking pretty darn bare and boring.
Take this time to fight the winter blues and get caught up on some cleaning by starting a new routine. It has taken me forever to figure it out but, life (housework at least) really is easier when you have a plan of attack!
I've been using a list from Real Simple Magazine to help guide my daily cleaning. One thing I have added to this list is laundry. I am constantly behind on laundry but every night, I take whatever is lying around and put it in my laundry sorter in the basement. This way, as soon as I get a full load, I can throw it in the machine and wash it.
Now that I have the apartment put back together, I'm working on a few small projects to mix things up a little bit. Our fireplace mantel is a bit of a general mish-mash so, I'm working on pulling that together. This is it's current status. As you can tell, it's boring and needs a little updating. The picture above from is my inspiration of the new fireplace. I adore French Country style and even though our living room has a lot going on, I think it might help pull it all together.

In addition to the fireplace, I'm also working on our bedroom. There isn't anything "wrong" with it but, it sure has a lot more potential than what we're utilizing. My vision is a calm and soothing room that is a homey feel but hotel-style luxury. This is the room where I should be able to just collapse after a long day and feel completely at ease. Right now, our bed spread is calming greens and browns but, everything seems to be blending together with our wooden bed, cream colored carpeting and wooden dressers and night stands. I'd like to give it all a little bit of refreshing color similar to this bedroom from Real Simple.
So what projects are you planning for the rest of the winter? Share your thoughts and ideas over the next week for your dealing with the end of the holidays and the rest of wintertime!

Until next time,



Thanks for stumbling upon the brand new LFW. For those of you who don't know, I am a funeral director's wife. I kind of stole from my husband's "Licensed Funeral Director" title for the name of this new blog.
Not only does my husband work an irregular schedule, I work full time. This is simply a journal of our unique life interspersed with some favorite recipes, cleaning tips and organization skills that translate in to anyones busy life. In short, it's my life as a "LFD's" wife.


~ Me