Sunday, March 25, 2012

How to behave in a funeral home

I never fail to be amazed at the way people act when visiting a funeral home.  So, let's go over a quick list of things a funeral home is not:

1.  Playground - The many rooms might look like the greatest place ever for a round of hide and seek from stinky Aunt Peg, put they're actually for dead people.  That's right kids, that box over there, it has a dead person.  That means you should be more concerned with being on your best behavior to avoid a zombie uprising.

2.  A art or music studio of any sort - I'm personally not intrigued but, I guess I can see the allure of stools and tile floor.  HOWEVER, just because they're there, doesn't mean you should hurl them about to see what kind of sound it makes.  If you want an experiment, let's see what sound I make when you wake my sleeping baby in the nursery above you.

3.  A beer garden or bar - Yes, I know that our little town doesn't have any open container laws, and I'm very familiar with the many Snoop Dogg songs from my youth.  But, if we're going to "pour out a little liquor" for great Uncle Leroy, let's keep it to the hood, farm, or suburban neighborhood in which you reside.

Unfortunately, there is such a veil of mystery around death and funerals that no one is really taught how to behave.  I grieving adults may lead to out-of-control kids but, if you believe you will be so consumed with trying to cope with the loss, find a babysitter.  It's not fair to everyone else that is grieving to also deal with your hell children.

Until next time.


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