Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'm back

Through much flip-flopping and experimenting, I dabbled with creating a new blog - The Corporate Housewife - except, it just didn't feel right.  I felt like LFW is where I'm suppose to be.  I might be saying that as a much more loaded statement than as it appears.

About three months after Sebastian came, I began to have trouble finding my stride as a mom.  I love him, I love him with every ounce of my being but I didn't want to be "defined as a mom."  I auditioned for a show at our local community theater and was offered a supporting role.  I accepted and began rehearsing 3 nights a week in August.
LFK 6 months old already!
It was a massive burden on the LFD and, looking back, was not a fantastic decision for the LFK.  I'd be home on weekends and feel like I no longer new my baby with whom I'd spent every day for the first eight weeks of his life with him.  Once I'd gone back to work, I was still with him part-time until July.  I started to realize how selfish I was being.
By the time October came around, the show was over, my huge fundraising event for work was over, and now, I'm home with the LFD, LFK and Rufus every evening and weekends, just like I'm suppose to.
Every time I look at my baby boy I cannot believe I was so incredibly selfish.  Everything around me suffered.  My marriage, my job, my relationship with my son.  I'm calling it a quarter-life crisis but I'm so thankful that at least I got it out of my system quickly and am completely recommitted to all of my obligations.
I don't know that there is a graceful way to end this post but, I wanted to say, I'm back.  I feel like things are less overwhelming and I'm very happy I had the opportunity and support to find my purpose.

I hope you'll come back and continue to follow my crazy life as an LFW.


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